Reclaiming Your Power: How to Spot Breadcrumb Love and Stay in Control
You’ve been focusing on yourself, reclaiming your life, and doing the work. Your wellness is a priority, your goals are in motion, and then suddenly, that text comes through. "Hey." It’s always at the exact moment when you’re doing great, right? That’s breadcrumb love—when someone gives you just enough attention to keep you wondering, without ever offering real commitment. I’ve been there too.
I remember cutting ties with someone who wasn’t serving my growth anymore. I was focused on healing and building my future. Months passed, and then, just as things were going right, I got that familiar ping on my phone—a message from them. They hadn’t changed; it was just a test. I had to ask myself, "Is this person here to add to my growth, or are they here to pull me back?"
What is Breadcrumb Love?
Breadcrumbing is when someone tosses you just enough attention to keep you hooked, without any real intention of being present in your life. It's manipulative, often coming at a time when you’ve emotionally leveled up and gained clarity. It’s like they sense your growth and test to see if they still have power over you.
In my case, they didn’t even have the decency to make it a real conversation—just a quick, casual “Hey.” But it wasn't about them; it was about the universe reminding me to protect my progress.
Why They Always Return When You’re Moving Forward
Ever notice how they always seem to come back when you're finally happy and thriving? This isn’t a coincidence. Energy is real. When you’ve done the work to heal and move forward, others sense that shift, even if you’ve blocked them or gone silent. It’s like their sixth sense kicks in, and they feel the need to re-enter your life, disrupting your peace.
For me, this pattern became clear when I reflected on past relationships. Every time I was close to a breakthrough—whether it was focusing on my career, getting my wellness back on track, or simply feeling confident again—there was always someone from the past trying to sneak back into my life. It felt like they were waiting for me to be at my best, just to throw me off course.
Have They Really Changed? Or Are They Just Testing You?
It’s tempting to think that someone coming back means they’ve had time to reflect and change. But often, it’s just breadcrumbing—their way of testing whether they can still hold power over you. Ask yourself: what are they really offering this time? Are they genuinely interested in your growth, or are they just trying to stir up emotions?
In my experience, they hadn’t changed at all. They were simply trying to see if they could pull me back into the old dynamics, distracting me from the positive steps I was making in my life.
Protecting Your Energy: Stay Focused on Your Growth
This is where you have to take control. You’ve made too much progress to let an old fling or toxic person knock you off your path. Think about it—would someone who truly respects you throw out crumbs and half-hearted attention? No. The person who deserves your time and energy will show up with real intention, not games.
When I finally realized that these moments were tests, I felt empowered. I knew that staying focused on my goals, keeping boundaries strong, and not allowing breadcrumbs to disrupt my life were key to my growth.
The Universe’s Test: Are You Ready for More?
Sometimes, these distractions are the universe’s way of asking, “How ready are you for what’s coming?” It’s like a final check-in, a chance for you to prove to yourself that you’ve truly grown. Will you let someone’s half-hearted efforts derail you, or will you trust that something better is ahead?
For me, passing these tests meant staying true to my path, even when the temptation to respond was there. I had to remind myself that I was creating space for something greater—something aligned with my new energy.
Conclusion: Step Into Your Power
When your phone buzzes with the unexpected "Hey," don’t let it shake your newfound strength. Breadcrumb love is a reminder that your growth is being tested. You’ve worked hard to create a life that aligns with your values, and it's time to protect that. Ask yourself: Do they truly add to the amazing energy you’ve built? Or are they a distraction from the love and joy you're preparing to welcome into your life?
As you move forward, remember that your power lies in your choices. You have control over who has access to your heart, your energy, and your time. Continue to trust the flow of the universe and stay grounded in your truth.
If you’re ready to dive deeper into this journey, check out my books for even more empowerment:
"I Don’t Want You to Dim Your Light Anymore" – Learn how to reclaim your voice and be heard.
"How to Turn a Breakup into a Breakthrough" – Use your heartache as a stepping stone to transform your life.
